How to Top Like a Boss
Our passion is helping long term gay couples in their pursuit of sexual wellness and satisfaction! For this edition of our series, we are going to dive (or climb!) right in and present our best tips to help you become a better top.
Now, it might be the case that you and your partner are both maestros when it comes to everything sex related and could literally write the book on how to top or bottom like a champion, (ps. if this is you, the please let us know and you can come write for us!) however there is always something new to learn in the world of gay sex! Yes, it’s true that there's always something new to learn no matter experienced you think you are. Trust us, you and your other half will reap the benefits!
1. Hygiene is not just for bottoms to worry about
It’s not fair for bottoms to take all the responsibility over keeping things clean down there. Being a good partner mean you take an active interest in and support your partner in their hygiene routine. Make sure they have everything they need, whether that be a simple towel or ‘douching’ products such as The Future Method. Another way you can help is accepting that mess will happen from time to time so be sure to keep handy wet wipes nearby.
2. Preparation is key
Just as you wouldn’t burst through your neighbors front door without ringing the doorbell, you don’t penetrate your partner without gentle and careful preparation. The simple rule for lube is you can rarely use too much. Make sure your penis is well coated in lube (never spit!) before entering but more importantly, make sure you enjoy some gentle anal simulation before even thinking about penetrating with your member.
3. Never force your way in
The best tops will learn to appreciate the anatomy of the anus and that things are compact down there. There are various groups of muscles which will take time to relax before you can go into full thrust mode. Always, always take your time and never be too forceful with your penis unless your partner is cool with that. When you encounter resistance down there, simply stop and wait a few seconds before continuing. Be sure to ask your partner how they are feeling and offer to change position or pause if needed.
4. Tips for staying harder for longer
We couldn’t have compiled this guide to being a good top without talking about the penis itself! Staying hard is what everyone wants but unfortunately the reality is that millions of men will experience complications at some stage in their life. The first port of call is to accept that going soft is nothing to be ashamed of and you should always reassure each other that it’s ok. There are also products such as cock rings which can help sustain a longer erection too. Please note you should always discuss severe or on-going erectile difficulties with a suitably qualified and trained medical expert.
5. It’s not all about full steam ahead
Anal sex is all about being in tune with how your partner is feeling and what is turning them on. A master top will know this and will sense how their partner responds to certain thrusts and angles. This means finding out what your partner really wants, trying different positions and changing pace as needed. If you’d like to discover some new gay sex positions you can read a previous article we wrote here. Remember, the easiest way to find out what stimulates your partner the most is by simply asking them!